How to deal with Purple dot- Talkative people

Yes, communicating with them makes me crazy because they care about what while I care about why. I feel my needs is are heard and understood. These things make me overthink about the past stories, that is an unhealthy habit. I am aware of that and learning how to overcome it. I know it will take time for me to build up a new habit. However, everything is brighter when you know where you should begin to self-help.

From http://dotscommunication.com/purple-dot/

Want To Impress?

Build them up. Tell them what a fine job they are doing or have done. Praise them for their contribution. Write them a thank you letter.

Getting Along With The Purple Dot

  • They are dreamers. They are great starters but poor finishers. They talk a lot (even to them-selves).
  • If you need to have a challenging conversation – questions are more effective than to “lecture”.
  • Let them know that they are a valuable member of the team when working well.
  • Be prepared to listen and offer regular praise.

Most importantly – The most important thing to this type is being creative, seeing possibilities, and always having new challenges. They are excellent starters but poor finishers.

OK, THERE IS A WAY…..

  1. Listen, praise 
  2. Question

 

 

Diary of proposal correction 11 Jan 2016

Today I have learned many new lessons about my proposal. Even I don’t meet my writing deadline, but I am happy with that. When I am keen on with myself, there are many interesting things coming up in a surprised way.

1- How to write my hypothesis. (Learn from Teo , Lee, Sing, 2011)

2- How to analyse my moderator

3-How to write my literature review and find my voice in this review

4-How to write about my limitation: self-report questionnaire, single source data (Learn from Teo, 2010)

I have also learned how to control myself, love myself by using mindful meditation. Especially in my communication with others. Yes my communication in this week is less tension than last week. I can see how the effect of Mercy Retrograde on my communication.

When I separate my overthinking thoughts out of me, I can see everything clearer. When I am careful of checking my body,  I can see my body can do many things beyond my busy thought. When I care about my emotion arising in my body, I understand the right time to breathe. When I compassionate with myself, my body is happy.

Just being a watcher with patience. I am transforming myself.

 

Gut feeling and intuition

Dear John,

Day by day. I am more connected to my inner strength. I no longer ignore my gut feeling and intuition. I can’t explain it, but it works for  me up to now. Whenever I don’t listen to my inner voice, something wrong will happen.

Now, two things I should focus daily: Being and Awareness.

 

Procrastinating

Dear John,

It has been one week I didn’t write to you because I shifted to write my writing diary after reading Dr. Goodson’s writing book. I thought my writing would move faster with a new practice schedule. In reality, it is not as easy as my thought. The truth is that writing is the most difficult work to me. Anyway, I won’t give up because writing is to survive, especially, during this part of my life.

Another truth is that I am a human, not a robot.I can set up a detailed writing schedule and strictly stick to it. However, my body and mind haven’t allowed me to treat them like a machine. It means you work with an installed routine, finish this work just a particular amount of time and subsequently move to another work. After one week, my mind gets bored and empty. I ask myself what is going on to me. Is there anything wrong? Now, I know how stupid I am.

I intentionally wake up late this morning to change my routine. I want to see everything in a new way, and it is hoped to help my writing a little bit. Thinking of my thesis, it is scary to me as usual.Merely concentrating on my work at this moment is better than thinking too much about future. Although my writing is not smooth as I want, I always motivate myself in different ways. My writer’s block will disappear soon when I think positively.

I also found that good book will inspire you a lot. It is better to read slowly and critically if you want to improve yourself from your reading. A useful example in the book might be not relevant to you most of the time. But who know? You have to try, learning by trial and error is an accepted method in education.Thought it might take a long time to learn new lessons with that traditional method, you create new self-knowledge which is efficient to your circumstance. So, don’t be afraid to go slowly, staying still for a long time is scarier.

When I got stuck with something, I usually look for some readings to inspire me. Zen-habits is one of my most inspired reading sources. He suggests something you should do when you procrastinate. This status easily happened when you do a difficult job, and Your mind becomes weak and tired faster due to your uncertainty and comfort. It automatically looks for easier tasks to relax, this leads to unproductivity. The same problem is here. I feel concentrate and productivity when I write this blog, but academic writing is a different story to me. I have to take care of academic vocabulary, grammar, coherence, cohesion, citation,…A ton of work needs to consider at the same, it blows my mind.

Here are Zen- habits’ suggestions to improve your productivity:

  1. Take a step back.  Step away from the computer, and go outside, go for a walk, take a shower, meditate, or just sit doing nothing for one minute.  Step back and think about what you should be doing right now, rather than what’s easiest and most tempting.
  2. Remember who you’re doing this for. As you step back, think about the person who will benefit from you doing this important task. Is it a co-worker, client, customer, loved one? Is it you? How will it make their life better? 
  3. Let yourself dive into the discomfort. Clear away distractions, just have what you need to do this one task, and allow yourself to be uncomfortable for a few minutes. 
  4. Embrace the uncertainty. Instead of looking at uncertainty as a bad thing, embrace it and see if you can get good at exploring it. Like discomfort, dive in and relax into it.
  5. Do it in little bits.  Work on the task for just a few minutes, then walk around and take a break. Then sit down and focus again, relaxing into the discomfort and uncertainty. 

Ok, Let’s do it, John. I already did the number 3, 4. Snapping out my uncertainty and discomfort by writing to you always helps me a lot.

Have a beautiful day John.

 

 

 

Reading: Writing without teachers -Peter Elboe

Dear John,

Last weekend I started practicing free writing which I read in a book of Peter Elbow “Writing without teachers.” I took this book by chance on a library’s bookshelf. Because I didn’t have attention to look for this book, I just found it while looking for my intended book. I have read about this book title in one Ph.D. self-help book. Therefore, this title caught my eyes while I passed by the bookshelf.

It is a small and handy book, so I don’t bring it to my lab, so every night I can read it at bedding time. I have read it for three nights, and Peter Elbow was successful in convincing me to join in his free writing.  I got the same writing problem like his experience,  spent the whole day for only one paragraph, but in the end, I don’t understand what I want to say. Wasting too much time to produce a proper sentence or looking up appropriate vocabulary doesn’t improve my writing coherence much. I need to change my writing method. And I was so  I wrote up three pages just for several hours. I can’t even dream about this number before. Also, the most important thing is this helps me to release the tension of slow writing. Several months ago, I got stress with my slow writing when my deadline was coming up. I want to push myself up, but all of my ideas was gone, I was frustrated. I lose my concentration quickly. I was angry with myself. I am tired.

Luckily,  I could write three pages within several hours. I can’t even dream about this number before. In addition, the most important thing is this helps me to release the tension of slow writing. Several months ago, I got stress with my slow writing when my deadline was coming up. I want to push myself up, but all of my ideas was gone, I was frustrated. I lose my concentration quickly. I was angry with myself. I am tired.

Luckily,  I wrote up three pages just in several hours. I can’t even dream about this number before. In addition, the most important thing is this writing method helps me to release the tension of slow writing. I used to be frustrated with my slow writing when my deadline was coming up. I wanted to push myself up by sticking to my laptop continuously for three days. Finally, my plan didn’t work out, and I suffered terrible back pain. That means my current method was ineffective. Looking for a new writing method is a must right now.

Apart from that, I also found a life lesson beside a new writing process while reading this book. You have to learn the art of letting go. If you care too much about your mistakes and weakness, you can’t move on. They just slow you down and lose your confidence. Of course, in order to improve yourself, learning from your mistakes is needed. But being anxiety and frustrated is not a good idea. Learn how to relax is a critical condition to perform your work well. Now, I realize why the little girl finished her thesis on time. The reason is that she just translated her Vietnamese thought. She didn’t care about all elements of writing while she wrote them down. Even there were a lot of mistakes in her first draft, it was still ok. Later, her superior edited her writing. The lesson is I should not care too much about my writing at the same time I need to clarify my ideas. I made me comfortable to express my thinking, later you and professional editor will do the role of editor for your writing.

Another lesson I learned during my reading a book section about Bloom’s mastery learning. One of the misunderstandings about Bloom’s theory among secondary school teachers is time-consuming, late curriculum coverage. Bloom argued that mastery learning will slow the teaching pace at the early stage because teachers spend more time to find students’ errors and correct them. But after that, their progress will be faster than those in ordinary classes when students are familiar with the techniques.

From this ideas, I believe that a current slow pace will change when I master the effective writing skills, and complete my writing at a faster pace and improving quality. It is also a good point to persuade teachers to apply formative assessment or new teaching methods in Vietnam. Time-consuming is one of their most concerns.

I feel full of inspiration now John. Have a nice day.

 

 

Writing well

Dear John,

Today I learn one interesting thing relating requirements to nominate a good thesis in my school. I have known four students who got the best thesis award in last year and two got nominations for the best thesis this year. By observing their background, I found one common factor among them is their good English. Three of them are from TESOL major and one uses English as her second language. That means writing well helps your readers understand you and get more interest in your research. That is a crucial feature to have a good thesis. Apart from that, they also conducted good studies.

Compared to other students who are not in TESOL major, they have good knowledge on their specific major like TESOL students. But their weakness is language which results in more difficulties in  expressing their ideas clearly.  Therefore, they struggled and get depression during their writing process. To help them release their stresses, they usually criticize others for asking them to rewrite their drafts many times. I am experiencing my writing difficulties at this moment, this helps me more empathize with them. But I think that blaming others for your weakness can’t help you improve yourself. Let’s accept your mistake and learn from it.

Once I confessed to Mairo – one of my colleagues in Ph.D room that I am so stupid, she said you are not stupid, your only problem is poor English.  So, how can I enhance my writing skill?

  1. From yourself: Practice, practice and practice.
  2. From others: Ask for help from every source you can reach out.
  3. After all, coming back to yourself and ask yourself what help you improve most.
  4. Last but not least, be patient and focus on your practicing and all is coming.

Have a nice day John

 

 

 

Be bold, be blessed

Dear John,

This post today is about three women working in a building where I am studying. Two of them are cleaners and one is my colleague. Each person has been teaching me some value lessons. Honestly, I didn’t have good impression towards them. But after several months knowing together, I found many things I should learn from them.

  1. A bold lipstick cleaner. I call her by that name because she usually wears bold makeup with black eyeliner and red lipstick. The first time  I saw her cleaning a toilet in the ground floor, I thought “Does it worth to make up your face like that as you are  a cleaner? Now I know I am so rude to judge her like that. Whatever you do, you have a right to make yourself beautiful as a woman. No one loves you and understands you more clearly than you. So just be bold like you are.
  2. A quite cleaner. She is Indian. She works in quite and seldom talks like the bold lipstick cleaner. I can feel the calm in her face and smile. She is in charge of cleaning the second and third floor and my study room is in a second floor. She is always willing to clean up that room whenever I ask her. Yesterday, I saw her sitting quietly on the staircases while I was going to the restroom. I felt strange and asked in my mind whether something bad had happened to her or maybe she was so tired after cleaning and just sat down for a rest. I was about to ask her whether she was ok, but I thought she couldn’t speak English, I  just passed by and gave a greeting smile. When I came back from the restroom with another way so I could see her from the back , she still sat there with her thumbs on her middle fingers. Now I know she was meditating or maybe praying as Indian tradition. Now I understand why her face is so calm most of the time. There is always a reason behind people’s behaviour. So don’t judge or criticise anyone if you don’t know much about them
  3. My cold colleague. I only say one thing. Work quietly and let you results speak for you.

Have a nice day John.

Lessons from my reading

Dear John,

I have stopped my writing for a while to concentrate on my reading about academic writing. I found two interesting books which open my eye much more about writing skill

  1. Mike Wallace and Alison Wray (2011), Critical reading and writing for postgraduates, Sage Publication
  2. Douglas Flemons (2014) , Writing between the lines: Composition in the Social Sciences, e-version.

I am struggling with my writing. Even I have tried to connect with my readers in my writing, I still fail. I know I got problems somewhere. By reading these books, they help me to locate which part I am doing in a wrong way. I can’t keep my writing in this way with the hope that the more I write the better my writing is. Knowing how to do a right thing is more important than doing a lot without quality awareness.

I don’t think my writing will improve right after reading these books. But at least I know what is the right way to fix my problems and practising with a good coach might promise me to have a better result. Ok, just do it and let’s see.

Hae a nice day John

 

What I have learnt last three days (20-22 May)

Dear John,

Last three days I was sick with a terrible cold, headache, body pain. While lying down in my bed, I had more time to listen to my body and surrounds. I could feel the pain of blood which got stuck in my brain nerve. I could feel my legs getting cold and hurt somewhere. I could feel the beauty of human body even in the state of pain. When I get bored to listen to my body, I listened to bird song in my hostel’s garden. That sound was so sweet also. I just think that whatever happen to me, just look at positive side of them and then you can move on quickly. That is the yesterday’s lesson

My target now is learning every day from everyone I meet, everything I read and hear.

  • Now, I know about a new product which is called handy scanner. It is helpful to scan book or document. I think whether I should buy it or not (From a short talk in Resource Room with Ph.D. student) (Friday’s lesson)
  • Don’t talk everything you know, when people talk more; you have a good chance to understand them. (Look like a book’s title “Mẹ không biết, con nghĩ đi) (Sunday’s lesson)
  • Don’t reply someone’s needs immediately. Let them wait a little bit to see what is their motivation. (Saturday’s experience)
  • Don’t take a bath too long after swimming; you will get cold later on

I hope to learn more new lessons in this week John