Dealing with my anger

I admitted that I was angry a lot last time. I thought I did not do anything, why I had to stand with it. I was angry with someone who did not spend enough time to understand me, or someone who were lies. I felt bad about myself and I aware of this.

But now I understand why they did that to me, I am grateful that they let me know, it is a right time for me. I have given me a good lesson about a true friend and I really do not want to be a skillful communicator like them. They are so good that they hurt their friends, and then I will be no longer to their friend forever.

I just feel sorry for them to live in that way. And I am here, thank you to them that I am stronger day by day. I am thankful that you have been with me in sometimes, but now I am enough balanced that I can stay strong by myself.

Thank a lot for giving me good lessons to help me more mature.

Chuyện hôm nay

True color or not?
1.Chòi Chiêm Tinh

Những bực bội, đau buồn hay nổi giận trong những ngày tới có thể xoay quanh những vấn đề liên quan đến Xử Nữ / Nhân Mã: lao động, phục vụ, dịch vụ, kiểm tra, vệ sinh, ý tưởng, tiền bạc, giáo dục / học hành, y tế, luật phát hay cách mà chúng ta nhìn nhận về cuộc sống. Chủ đề căng thẳng của Nguyệt Thực này đó là “chèo thuyền ngược dòng nước” = “cố gắng rất nhiều, mà nhận được chẳng bao nhiêu”, khiến người ta trở nên cáu kỉnh và giận dữ.

Dù có là thế nào, tư duy của tôi đó là chúng ta tận dụng và thuận theo các động lực của các hành tinh, thay vì rơi vào trạng thái “bất lực” với chúng. Lời khuyên chung của tôi cho các tuổi Hoàng Đạo trong một thời gian đầy rối reng và xung đột như thế này đó là chúng ta hãy thoát lui để chúng ta thấy được mình đang đứng ở đâu, cũng như có một cái nhìn rộng hơn về những tình hình hay những gì mà chúng ta đang đối mặt, để từ đó chúng ta biết nhận thức, thấy được nhiều sự lựa chọn hơn nữa và không lập lại sai lầm. Chúng ta có thể không thay đổi được hay làm gì được hơn trước những hành động của chính phủ hay người khác, nhưng chắc chắn là chúng ta có thể thay đổi được bản thân mình và những gì trong tầm tay chúng ta.

Cùng với một Nguyệt Thực đang sắp xảy ra, thái độ và hành xử của bạn có thể trở nên quá hung hăng đối với một số người, và nếu là như thế, hãy coi chừng những cú “phản đòn” của họ ! Dù Hỏa Tinh có thể đem lại nhiều cơ hội để giúp bạn “chiến đấu” và đi đến “chiến thắng”, sự kiện này cho thấy bạn đang bắt đầu một chu kỳ 2 năm mới khi hành tinh này sẽ tiếp tục ở trong cung của bạn cho đến giữa tháng 11/2015.

Đối với một số Xử Nữ, bạn sẽ phải vất vả trong những ngày sắp đến, và với một số bạn khác, một cản trở thật sự sẽ xuất hiện. Rất có thể bạn chưa thấy hết toàn bộ tình hình cũng như các chọn lựa của mình, nên vì thế đừng vội “lao đầu” vào để “chắp vá” ngay mà chiến lược tốt nhất là bạn nên tạm “thoái lui”. Những câu trả lời và giải pháp dần dần sẽ đến. Nhớ rằng, bản tính tự nhiên của bạn là xử lý những chi tiết, và nếu bạn xác định và nỗ lực nhiều hơn trong việc xây dựng lại cuộc sống gia đình, chỗ ở, đầu tư dài hạn hay một nền tảng chắc chắn cho mình thì sẽ không có gì mà bạn không thể gặt hái như ý được.

thayđổi tư duy hay cách làm việc, thay đổi công tác hay chuyển hẳn sang một công việc mới. Và nếu bạn có muốn làm một công việc “mới”, hãy liên lạc với đồng nghiệp cũ hoặc quay lại một chỗ cũ mà mình từng làm trước đây, vì Thủy Tinh nghịch hành sẽ giúp bạn khôi phục “quá khứ”.

2. “True Colors”

You with the sad eyes
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness, inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don’t be unhappy, can’t remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you’ve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I’ll be there

And I’ll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that’s why I love you
So don’t be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

When this world makes you crazy
And you’ve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I’ll be there
3.Ekhart Yoga

During our lives, it’s inevitable that we will experience suffering at some point. Here, Esther shares her insight into how we can work with the mind to enable us to move beyond the stories we create around our suffering.

The first of the four noble truths of Buddhism is that life is suffering. This doesn’t mean that life is only suffering – there are, of course, many beautiful aspects to life – it just means that no one can live their life without facing some amount of suffering. In light of this fact, it would be helpful to take a closer look at it.

You can suffer in many ways. You can suffer mentally and physically. You can suffer from grief of loss, or you can suffer from insecurity, doubting every decision you make – believing you could/should have done something different or better. You can suffer from obsessive thinking. You can suffer from aching joints, pain in your back or from aging.

The mind as a garden

So what do we do with suffering? First of all I’d like to establish that suffering happens in the mind. Even when the pain seems physical, it’s the mind that creates the suffering. There are very happy sick people. Not everyone suffers from the same things. The mind creates its own story around it.

foxgloveI like the analogy of comparing the mind with a garden. Firstly – be with the garden. Observe what is going on, the state the garden is in. You don’t do anything about it, you just take stock. The willingness to just be with it gives you insight into what needs to be done to make the garden healthier. Secondly – start pulling weeds, and thirdly – plant flowers. You let it be, you let it go and then you let it in!

Bringing it together

Let’s translate these 3 ways to the mind:

  1. Be with what is there. When you are in a state of suffering, you witness it, you observe it, if possible with a quality of acceptance, without trying to change it. Simply be with what is.
  2. Next, try to gently and appropriately reduce the negative. We consciously let emotions flow, we inquire into our pain. We see what (old) beliefs are in our way and we begin to let them go. We reduce the negative. It could well be that you need the help of someone else (a professional) to hold the space while letting go of old ‘stuff’.
  3. Lastly, increase the positive. Begin to cultivate wholesome qualities of mind and heart, and take in the good. Letting positive experiences sink in changes the chemistry of the brain. Think of practicing yoga to enable you to develop your strength, openness and relaxation. Go for a walk in the forest and let nature fill you with beauty. Find inspiring people to spend time with, read inspiring books and let wisdom in.

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The impermanence of life

Another big Buddhist concept that might be helpful in the midst of suffering is the impermanence of life – also known as anicca. Nothing stays the same and everything changes constantly. Applying this knowledge to suffering might help you to step back a little, knowing this (suffering) too shall change!

It is by becoming aware of the concept of impermanence, by observing it and by understanding it, that one can find a suitable remedy for, and achieve liberation from, the sorrow of human life.

Sometimes actively working with the mind is just what you need to move beyond the mind.

4. Zen Habits

3 Little Tricks to Deal With People Who Offend You

BY LEO BABAUTA

Something that we struggle with daily, that eats us up and causes stress and anger: annoying people.

You know those people: they cut in line, are rude to you in the office or at the restaurant, cut you off in traffic, talk loudly about obnoxious things, play loud music when you’re trying to concentrate, interrupt you, and so on.

These offenses are violations of the way you think people should act. And so it burns you up. Don’t worry, I’m the same way.

If you just keep letting these offensive people get to you, you’ll always be mad or annoyed. Life won’t be very good. But it’s something you can learn to deal with.

I have to admit I’m not perfect at this, but here are three strategies I use that are helpful:

  1. Get Big. I learned this one from Zen teacher Robert Thomas, who uses “Get Big” as one of his slogans that helps him to be mindful. Imagine you’re a 2-year-old toddler, who can’t have a toy or some ice cream right this minute. This problem is your entire universe, because you have no perspective, and so … you throw a fit. This is the world of a 2-year-old (I should know, I’ve had 6 of them). But as adults, we know that this is a very small problem, and in fact there are lots of other things the 2-year-old could do to be happy. Sure, that’s easy for us — we have a bigger perspective. But when someone offends us, we have a small perspective — this little offense is the biggest thing in the world, and it makes us very angry. We throw the equivalent of a 2-year-old fit. But if we get a bigger perspective (Get Big), we can see that this little thing matters very little in the bigger picture. It’s not worth being angry over. So remind yourself to Get Big, then widen your perspective.
  2. Float Down the Stream. When I drive and other drivers do rude things, I often get angry. Then I remember a trick: I imagine myself floating down a stream in a raft, and the other cars are just twigs and leaves floating past me one way or another on this stream. They don’t have to treat me a certain way, because they’re just twigs. And so I serenely float down this stream, not worrying about how the twigs float around me (though I try not to hit them, because, you know, safety first). And in truth, this is how life is — other people aren’t trying to offend you, don’t even worry about you most of the time. They are just twigs floating by. Be nice to the twigs though.
  3. Give Them a Mental Hug. This little trick can transform the way I feel about someone who makes me angry. Let’s say someone has just said something rude to me. How dare they! Don’t they have any consideration for my feelings? But of course, in this reaction, I’m not having any consideration for their feelings — only mine matter. And so I try to empathize with this rude person, and realize that they’re angry, or scared, or both. They are being rude as a coping mechanism for their fear. And so, mentally (and once in a while physically), I give them a hug. I have compassion for this scared person, because I too am often scared. We’re the same. We need a hug, some compassion, a little love.

Try one of these three tricks the next time someone makes you mad or offends you. And then smile in serenity, armed with the comforting knowledge that, like me, you are superior to the rest of the world.

Kết luận:

  1. Đối với bản thân mình: – Let’s it go, I cant change anything, just change my mind, move beyond of my mind. Keep quite, and smile. Let’s everything simple.
  2. Đối với người khác: – Hãy tội nghiệp cho họ vì phải rơi vào vòng luẩn quẩn của cuộc sống. – Họ thật sự không cố gắng chống đối mình, chỉ vì dòng đời đưa đẩy như vậy, thôi cứ để cho nó chảy. – Hãy là người lớn cho những đứa trẻ lâu năm, không cần phải tức giận hay khó chịu với trẻ con. Hãy kiên nhẫn mà dạy chúng.

Thanks all my mentors: Bác Chòi Chiêm Tinh, Anh Zenhabit, Cô EkhartYoga và bài hát của Collins

Losing my focus

From the middle of August, after presenting my prospectus, my focus seemed like go somewhere. Maybe I was panic because of changing thesis topic or changing supervisors. Difficult stuff made me lose focus on my writing. Also, my boyfriend were busy, he spent little time with me, fewer call and fewer message day by day. Somehow I got stress because of those.

I have been trying to balance myself by spending more time to chit-chat with my colleagues in Vietnam, making time with some friends here. I also go out more frequently with Pakistani to practice speaking English. Nothing has come out, I feel exhausted because going out too much, I feel sleepy in the next day because of staying up late. I feel unbalanced because of no time to do exercise, I feel weak because of not eating good food.

I think I have not appreciated the time for myself. I try to change the place I sit, people I meet even the food I ate. But the result does not like I want. I still feel safe and productive when I am myself. The lesson I learned that more communication help you out with some new ideas, but the reality is in your hand and your mind, not in others’.

So hey Quyen, let’s do it. Keep your life balanced with your own routine. Let’s communicate when you need and want it, not just want to copy someone else.

Be yourself.