The right persons will stay

Dear John,

There are some problems in our relationship in these days. M was not happy with what I said to him before. M talked to me in a way of low energy and no confidence. I am also unhappy with it, but “Bitter pills may have blessed effects”. I believe the right person, who accepts who I am, will stay there for me. I know I am not good at interpersonal skills, and trying to learn it every day so that my criticised communication style won’t hurt them. Anyway, always be careful with my words. Think carefully before speaking them out.

M is trying his best, I know. Remember to praise him whatever he does. Think carefully and positively.

Enjoy your day John.


Free writing

Dear John,

I don’t know what exactly I write in this morning. I just write down whatever in my mind at this moment, and it looks like running exercise. After the Lunar New Year 2016, I committed myself to write this blog in 6 mornings per week. As a result, it becomes an efficient warm-up writing exercise to me. Trying to express myself on this blog for one hour help me write my thesis smoothly. Ah hah, that’s the thing. It is also called a writing therapy to cure writing block for Ph.D. student.  I got this idea from books and blogs for Ph.D. students.

Yesterday, I didn’t want to study and did crochet again. I crocheted a new phone case and finished it within few hours. I am happy when trying something new and completing it at the end of the day. Although I am a little bit worried about what my supervisor is going to say in the next meeting

– 3 years is too short to finish Ph.D

– Students have to know where to stop, can’t solve a big problem in a short time

It is true. On one hand,  I am afraid that my study is not big enough to PhD level. On the other hand, it is too big to finish in three years.

So what can I do now? Hope this week I will find my answer.

Lesson of this week


Dear John,

Today is Saturday, that means the whole week is gone. Time flies so fast. I have reviewed what I have learnt during this week in this morning while I am waiting for the colloquium.

About the trip: If you join in any group or organisation, there might have some things you dislike or dissatisfied with. Just look at the bright side of them and let it go anything else.Be grateful for what you have today.
About the swimming class: Be brave to face your fear. Spending time to overcome your fear is also a joyfulness.
About my writing: I have a long way to develop my writing skill. Just be patient and keen on practicing it every day. Even though I make the same mistakes for several times. Once I repeat my mistakes, it means I haven’t learnt yet. So just keep calm when making mistakes and be ready to improve bit by bit everyday.
About my research: I have a lot of things to learn before graduating and become a researcher. This journey is tough, and I am aware of that spending time for this is also my happiness. Making mistakes, being called a stupid student, or being named by different titles are what I have to deal with and grow up from these. Just be a good listener and good learner and have thick skin.
About making mistakes or being a perfectionist: Practicing not be afraid of making mistakes. If I follow this way, I am trying not to be a perfectionist who I used to be.
Enjoy your weekend John.

Deep conversation

Dear John,

Last weekend I traveled to ML to attend the memorial event. What I expected before going is true, what they did and what they said were only about them, not me. So be yourself whatever you do is the most important thing to remember. Just spending your precious time and energy on someone or something that make you happy or you appreciate most. This trip was worth to me.

Also, yesterday I had two deep conversations with two ladies. I love these talks because they help me understand clearly what happiness is and how people look for their happiness. It is not important who is right or wrong, one thing I care most is they are truly happy or not. They buy new belongings to make them happy, and I hope that they will satisfy longer than the new stuff sold the market. I hope they will be happy after freeing birds and committing to be vegetarian until other difficulties coming to their lives. In my view, these solutions are working, the problem is how long their happiness will last. I guess they will continue whenever they have money to buy new stuff and stick to their firm religion beliefs.

So let them live their lives. All roads lead to Rome.


Mother Nature

Dear John,

Last night, I watched the video about Nature with Julia Robert’s voice . She said ” Nature doesn’t need people, People need Nature to survive”. And this morning, again I watched the moved Ted talk of Bhutan Prime Minister about his country – “the country of carbon negative”. These videos pushed me to think harder about our environment and the way I am living is protecting my Mother Nature or not. This topic becomes hotter than ever, like the weather of this year is warmer than last year.

I grew up in the countryside, surrounding with a lot of trees, vegetables, flowers and animals. Wherever I go, I love staying with the hug of Mother Nature. Luckily, I am studying in “University in the Forest”. What is more beautiful than practicing yoga under a wide tree shadow, listening to bird songs in the early quite morning, cycling around campus to watch colorful blossoms? Yes, I do agree we have do many things together to protect our Mother Nature not only for ourselves but also for our next generations.


  • Consume less – Minimalist living style
  • Recycle more
  • Save electricity
  • Use friendly environment products


Comparing to others


Dear John,

I understand that comparing to others doesn’t bring any benefits to me. It just destroys my confidence and self-esteem. But sometimes this thought still sparkles in my mind when I know others’ achievements or success by chance. I am aware of that I have a long way to improve myself in academic world. It is better to compare with my  own improvement through out the time.

I should practice to praise people rather than to be jealous with them or comparing myself with them. Work hard and study everyday and I will be fine.

I have read a useful post from Dr. Susan Carter (Doctoral Writing SIG). This is what I need and study everyday to obtain these requirements in my thesis.


“Question, literature, methods and findings must be linked not just in the mind of the author but in clear explicit sentences so that a reader can quickly see connections. An audit before submission could include a check of the following:

  • The description of the background fits what the study actually found—rewrite if things have shifted and the background now required is slightly different;
  • The research question captures the essence of what the study actually finds—if it doesn’t, it should be rewritten so that it does;
  • The methods section relates to the research question—sentences are needed to explain how;
  • Method choices are supported by literature on methods;
  • Any method discussed and not used has a sentence explaining why it is discussed at all—if there is no reason, it should be removed;
  • Theories discussed in the literature review are applied in the discussion;
  • Findings are compared with findings from literature—explain the difference and the possible reasons in sentences; and,
  • The overall balance of literature, methodology, findings and discussion is appropriate (e.g., about the right % of the thesis is devoted to literature review, methodology etc. for the discipline)”


Dear John,

Sometimes all unwanted things come to you in one day. Of course, you will be blue and can’t concentrate totally on your work which is near to the deadline. You got stress and at a result you can’t sleep well, you work with your headache, get angry with yourself on the next day. Finally, you look up the sky and sky “Why these happened to me? “But no one can answer you.

I got trouble because of my carelessness and it leads to later problems.It is my fault, but as an ordinary person,  I will blame to others’.The truth is no one can fix these except me. So that I come to the idea that when one bad thing happens to me, I should keep calm and try to fix.Being panic and worries can’t solve anything, just cause some other problems.

That’s the way it is. I am on my way of learning

Dear John,

Last night I couldn’t sleep because the weather was so hot as well as my mind was full of jealousy. I admit that I have a long way to reach to meditating status. I think that I almost come to this ideal status, but it is still unstable ( not permanent). That means I haven’t completely purified my mind, I am an ordinary person with burdens of attachment.

To date, I understand why I can’t practice deep meditation because my mind is unclean. Yes, this is my big problem that I am seriously want to change my mind. It is true what CCT told last post. It is a good time to think again about my self in regards to who I really want to become, what I should share to public wisely. I am used to be a worried, over thought, stressful person. Now I really don’t want myself to go too far in this way, changing this habit is my current desire.

I have registered the program “The 8 limbs of yoga” in EkhartYoga website with the hope to get seriously on the way to self-freedom and happiness.

Happy Monday and have a wonderful week John.



What I have learned from the drama “Jang Yongsil”

Dear John,

I have followed this historical drama for one month, it ended yesterday. I cried a lot when watching the last episode because I learned that the truth is always painful and not a winner in all cases.

Jang Yongsil is a great scientist, coming from a lower class in Jeoson dynasty. He invented astronomy devices and clocks to help the King Sejong and people. But government officers were jealous with his talent and the King’s interest to him. They tried to kill him whenever they got chances. From this drama, I realized no matter how talented you are, how much contribution you do to others, there are always some people who really don’t like your existence in their life. Because your light makes them living in your shadow where their pride is hurt.

However, when you have an eternal love with science, nothing can let you down even a dirty politic. Jang Yongsil were beaten a lot during his whole life, he still lived strong with his dream. I love the way he dealed with those who hated or betrayed him. His understanding and empathy moved me a lot, he thought life is a flow of water, everything  runs nonstop. His attidute of non-attachment helped him overcome all his life burdens. I cried when I realized this fantastic ideas, because I have been searching the answer for my question for years: “Why is what I receive unequal to what I have tried?  Now, I have my answer. That is my life, whatever it will be, just keep going. Don’t blame to yourself and anyone. The water still runs everyday.

Here are some lessons I want to remind myself everyday:

  1. Whatever they blame you and don’t appreciate your contribution, just work and concentrate on your dream. It’s yours, not theirs.
  2. The real friends and right person will stay with you.
  3. Love people no matter what they are unkind to you.
  4. Family is always your home, take good care of your parents.

Something for me:

  1. Marriage is not the only thing in your life
  2. You are good at research, not management
  3. Read and listen more, talk less.

Enjoy your day John.


My writing

Dear John,

I have stopped writing this blog for two days in order to concentrate on writing my proposal whenever I reach the lap. But I didn’t success, nothing moved on after the first paragraph. Something happened to me? Writing block? Or I am extremely perfectionist? This unproductive status made stress and headache. I am worried that I can’t finish my thesis on time. I have suffered this stressed several months ago, and now it is going to happen again.

I really don’t like myself at this time and want to do something to stop it immediately. But talking is easier than doing. Today I come back writing this blog to get over my writing block. I have some writing advises in internet, there are several ways to make it, such as prewriting meditation, yoga, and free writing. I also installed Trello to organize my work to improve my productivity and get better sleep also.

There is another reason I can’t write fast because of my poor English. When I write down my ideas, it took me more time to choose good words and suitable structures to express my ideas concisely. I am aware of the coherence of writing, however, practicing is really tough for me to fulfill all these criterion. Anyway, I have installed two new apps on my phone as Memrise and Elsa speaking to improve my language skills. I remind myself to keen on practicing these everyday.

I can do it, just like I do with swimming skill. Keep going and don’t give up.